TGIK
by EVAN67
Summary: Kramer opens a bar, Elaine gets drunk, George dates Steinbrenners niece and Jerry well he’s Jerry.


Kramer opens a bar, Elaine gets drunk, George dates Steinbrenners niece and Jerry well he's Jerry. This is my second fan fic, please read and review, I did it quick so let me know how it is. I own no characters of Seinfeld.  
  
TGIK  
  
Jerry is at his refrigerator getting a bottle of Snapple, when Kramer enters in his usual way.  
  
Kramer: Hey Buddy.  
  
Jerry: Hey  
  
Kramer: What are you up to.  
  
Jerry: Nothing, just getting ready to go on a date with this girl I met down town.  
  
Kramer: Really, and what's her name.  
  
Jerry: Beth something, I think her last name is a color, Green, White, Red. Who knows I'm just going to break up with her anyway in week.  
  
Kramer: Jerry, come on! You know your getting up there, maybe it's time to start thinking about you know the big M or at least MIT.  
  
Jerry: Kramer why would I want to enroll at MIT University?  
  
Kramer: Jerry I'm talking about Moving In Together, MIT.  
  
Jerry: I'm not moving in with you. You scare me Kramer I have to be honest.  
  
Kramer: Not me, with a woman.  
  
Jerry: Oh. I don't think so. (pauses) What do you want anyway.  
  
Kramer: Oh I need to borrow some ashtrays, glasses, scotch, beer, vodka, chairs , tables  
  
Jerry: Hold it. You're not opening another smoking room in your apartment are you. Remember the last time leather face.  
  
Kramer: No, well sort of. Jerry! Last night I went to a bar with my date Veronica, you know the cat sitter. Any way we go to a Bar and I pull out a Cuban, they tell me there is no smoking in any restaurants or bars in NY. Can you believe it, where living under a Dictator.  
  
Jerry: I think it's for health reasons of the employees.  
  
Kramer: What ever, so I decided to open my own bar. TGIK.  
  
Jerry: Thank God It's Kramer's. (pauses) Yeah I see a lawsuit.  
  
Kramer: Look Jerry my grand opening is tomorrow night I need this stuff.  
  
Jerry: How's it going with Veronica.  
  
Kramer: The cats Jerry, they sit on the bed when where, you know and they stare at me.  
  
Jerry: That's got to be a little uncomfortable. For the cats.  
  
Kramer: Very funny, very funny. Let me tell you Jerry its scary, they sit there staring me down licking their paws cleaning there face. It give me the willys Jerry.  
  
Jerry: Are you going to break up with her.  
  
Kramer: Oh no, this Veronica is a real hellcat, MEowwww.  
  
The Buzzer sounds when Jerry was about to answer Kramer.  
  
Jerry: Yeah.  
  
On the other end is Elaine.  
  
Jerry: Come on up.  
  
Jerry walks over to the door and opens it for Elaine.  
  
Kramer: So how about that stuff.  
  
Jerry: Kramer I can't help you.  
  
Kramer: Oh man. (shrieking)  
  
Elaine walks in.  
  
Elaine: Hello Jerome. Hello Cosmo.  
  
Kramer: Well, hello Elaine.  
  
Jerry: Yeah.  
  
Kramer: So Jerry, come on I need this stuff.  
  
Jerry: Kramer I cant help you, sorry.  
  
Elaine: What's up.  
  
Jerry: Our man here is fighting back against the anti smoking laws by opening a bar.  
  
Elaine: Where, that's so exciting.  
  
Kramer: Thank you Elaine, I'm glad some people are still encouraged by us auntropenours.  
  
Jerry: It's in his apartment, and tell her what it's called.  
  
Kramer: TGIK, Thank God It's Kramers (smiles and poses)  
  
Elaine: I hope you still have Jackies phone number.  
  
Kramer: So Jerry you cant help me out.  
  
Jerry: No for the last time.  
  
Elaine: Kramer what do you need.  
  
Kramer: Chairs, tables, vodka, gin, scotch, ashtrays. Pretty much everything, oh and those little umbrellas.  
  
Elaine: You know Kramer, we're redoing our break room, and boardrooms at J. Petermans and we're just throwing all this stuff out, tables, chairs, and mini fridge's.  
  
Kramer: Giddyup. Let's go. (Kramer grabs Elaine and starts pushing her out the door)  
  
Elaine: Um sure.  
  
Jerry: Kramer what about the alcohol.  
  
Kramer: Well, I know some one who can get me the rest at a fair price.  
  
Jerry: Who Bob Sacamano?  
  
Kramer: No. Bob Sacamanos Grand mother, she used to be a bootlegger for the mob back in the twenties.  
  
Jerry: What is she like a hundred.  
  
Kramer: She's a young ninety years old.  
  
Kramer and Elaine open the door to leave on the other side is George.  
  
George: Hey.  
  
Kramer: Gotta go, George, TGIK.  
  
Kramer and Elaine then walk out the apartment door.  
  
George: What's that all about. Jerry: about a combined 80 years of regression.  
  
George walks over to Jerry who is now sitting on the couch.  
  
George: Listen to this, Ho ho, Steinbrenner wants me to take is niece out tomorrow night.  
  
Jerry: What's wrong with that.  
  
George: Can you imagine what she must look like, and if she has even a hint of his personality. Plus you know I'm going to screw this up.  
  
Jerry: How do you know.  
  
George: It's me Jerry, ok.  
  
Jerry: Good point. So what are you going to do.  
  
George: What can I do, just let fate deal its ugly hand.  
  
Jerry: And in your case that hand must be halfway decomposed. What's her name.  
  
George: Georgina.  
  
Jerry: Georgina.  
  
George: Yes, Georgina.  
  
Jerry: Oh yeah, start filling those unemployment papers out now.  
  
George: I know, I already went by the unemployment office to get a head start.  
  
George reaches in side his breast pocket and pulls out a few papers to show Jerry.  
  
Jerry: Well, I have to be going I have a date.  
  
Jerry walks out of his apartment.  
  
At J. Petermans office. Elaine and Kramer are walking down the hall on their way to the boardroom, they pass Mr. Petermans office.  
  
Peterman: Elaine, come in.  
  
Elaine and Kramer enter the office.  
  
Elaine: Yes sir.  
  
Peterman: Elaine, I want you to throw a going away trip for Thompson in two days, and I will need you to organize it.  
  
Elaine: Sir, that's not a lot of time.  
  
Peterman: Come on Elaine where's that old collage spirit.  
  
Elaine: Where's Thompson going any way.  
  
Peterman: To Madagascar, I hear the natives have footwear that would make a great "Suburban Mall Shoe". Plus his wife just found out he's been instant messaging Ed in accounting at four am.  
  
Kramer: You know Elaine you can have your party at TGIK's. We do parties to.  
  
Peterman: TGIK's what that's one of those wonderfully amazing chain restaurants where the employees where there smiles on their brightly colored vests.  
  
Kramer: Yeah sure.  
  
Peterman: Sounds like a winner, Elaine get on it.  
  
Elaine: Oh yeah a real winner.  
  
Kramer and Elaine leave Petermans office, Elaine is visibly mad at Kramer.  
  
Jerry and his date Beth enter his apartment. She is a very pretty brunette dressed in jeans and a sweater.  
  
Jerry: Can I get you something to drink.  
  
Beth: A Snapple would be great.  
  
Jerry smiles.  
  
Beth: Don't you love Snapple.  
  
Jerry: As far as over sweetened flavored water goes, I do.  
  
Beth: Your so funny Jerry, now I see why you're a comedienne.  
  
Jerry: As I always say better a sense of humor than a sense of being. Beth: hahaha  
  
Kramer walks in  
  
Kramer: Hey buddy. Grand opening tomorrow night and I got some top shelf entertainment and I already booked a party.  
  
Jerry: Top shelf entertainment, does that include Newman playing the spoons.  
  
Kramer: No. I'll have you know I booked Keith Richards from the Rolling Stones.  
  
Jerry: The Keith Richards, how'd you swing that.  
  
Kramer: My friend Ed Edelstein shared a room with him at Betty Ford in 1985.  
  
Beth: Oh, I love the Rolling Stones, is Mick coming also.  
  
Kramer: No just Keith. By the way since Jerry is so rude, I'm Cosmo.  
  
Beth. Nice to meet you Cosmo, I'm Beth.  
  
Kramer: I hope I'll see you tomorrow night at the opening of TGI Kramers.  
  
Jerry: Yeah, you know Kramer I think we're busy.  
  
Kramer: Jerry! You have to be there, plus I booked a comedian to open up for Keith.  
  
Jerry: Who Carrot Top.  
  
Beth: Oh I love Carrot top.  
  
Jerry stops in his tracks and gives an odd glance at Beth.  
  
Jerry: Oh yeah, we should be broken up in few days.  
  
Kramer: No Banya.  
  
Jerry: Banya he's hack. Why didn't you ask me.  
  
Kramer: Well for one you're not supportive of me and I don't think your brand of humor would play well with my clientele.  
  
Jerry: Your clientele, who, you, Newman and Micky.  
  
Kramer: Say what you want Jerry, but Banya is cutting edge, cutting edge Jerry.  
  
Jerry: Banya!  
  
George is in Mr. Steinbrenners office  
  
Steinbrenner: Georgie, where you taking my lovely niece tomorrow night, no where cheap I hope. She has expensive taste just like Uncle Stein.  
  
George: I thought I would take her to dinner.  
  
Steinbrenner: Take her to a steak house she loves meat, just like Uncle Stein. That makes me think I haven't had a good steak in weeks. I like the Prime Rib the best but a good NY strip you can't go wrong with. What about you George. Never liked the filet mignon not enough fat. You like your fat George, I like a nice piece of fat on my steak.  
  
George: Yes sir, well I think I will be going now.  
  
Steinbrenner: Make sure you ask for extra fat Georgie.  
  
The next evening Jerry and Beth are walking down the hallway on their way to Jerry's apartment.  
  
Beth: Oh, I just loved that restaurant Jerry.  
  
Jerry: there's not much you don't love huh.  
  
Beth: hahahaha  
  
As Jerry makes a turn down his hall he sees a line of people trying to get into Kramers apartment.  
  
Jerry: What's this.  
  
Beth: Isn't tonight the opening of your friend Kramer's bar.  
  
Jerry: Yes.  
  
Beth: So then why are people waiting outside his apartment.  
  
Jerry: Because that's where the bar is.  
  
Beth: Oh, I  
  
Jerry: I know you just love the idea.  
  
Beth: Yeah how'd you know.  
  
Jerry just shakes his head. The two of them get to the front of the line where a young man is standing with a head set on and a clipboard. Jerry tries to enter the apartment.  
  
Man with clipboard: Excuse me sir there's a line unless you're on the list.  
  
Jerry: Oh I'm on the list alright.  
  
MWC: Name  
  
Jerry: Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld.  
  
As the man is looking over the list uncle Leo walks up.  
  
Uncle Leo: Jerry!  
  
Jerry: Uncle Leo!  
  
MWC: Uncle Leo your ok.  
  
The man opens the velvet rope and Leo walks in.  
  
Jerry: Uncle Leo tell him I'm with you.  
  
MWC: I'm sorry sir your name isn't on the list, you'll have to go to the back of the line.  
  
Jerry: Get Kramer. I'm on the list.  
  
The man then hits a bottom on his radio.  
  
MWC: Sir, we have a situation up front, we'll need security.  
  
Jerry: Security.  
  
The door opens and out walks Newman, dressed in an all black suit with a black shirt, headset on and a pair of black sunglasses.  
  
Newman: Hello Jerry.  
  
Jerry: Hello Newman. Your security, what are you guarding your supply of cheap porn and chunky bars.  
  
Newman: Why don't you leave Seinfeld, this is an upscale establishment.  
  
Just then Banya walks out.  
  
Banya: Hi jerry, I killed I tell you I killed Jerry.  
  
Seinfeld: You killed, probably the audience with boredom.  
  
Banya: Guess what there were two executive from Paramount Pictures in the audience and they want to do film based on my Ovalteen bit.  
  
Jerry: Kramer!  
  
Banya: I got to get home and rest up for my meeting tomorrow. I killed Jerry, Killed.  
  
Beth: I knew that name sounded familiar I saw him a few months ago at a comedy club. Oh I just loved his act.  
  
Kramer walks out and sees Jerry standing there with Newman.  
  
Kramer: Jerry, you came.  
  
Jerry: Newman says I'm not on the list. Don't tell me I'm not list worthy.  
  
Kramer: Newman, you know he's on the list.  
  
Newman: Fine, let the scourge in, but don't blame me if the clientele goes down hill, like an Swiss skier on Mount Everest during an ice storm.  
  
Kramer: Newman!  
  
Beth, Jerry and Kramer walk into the apartment which looks like a bar at a TGIF's, except it says TGIK. There is a bar, waitress's, tables and a stage. Jerry and Beth look around the apartment with amazement.  
  
Beth: Kramer, oh I just love it in here.  
  
Jerry: Is they're anything you don't love, or you just have that much love to give.  
  
Beth: You know what Jerry, tonight I would of showed you how much I loved another thing.  
  
Jerry: I didn't mean it in a bad way.  
  
Beth: Good bye Jerry.  
  
Beth leaves the apartment.  
  
Kramer: I guess she wasn't MIT material.  
  
Jerry: I guess not.  
  
Kramer: Come on buddy cheer up.  
  
Jerry: Yeah your right. Hey when is Keith Richards going to start.  
  
Kramer: He phoned he won't be coming, he confused TGIK's with Taiwan International Airport.  
  
Jerry: It could happen.  
  
Kramer: Well that's where he is, can you believe it.  
  
Jerry: Yes.  
  
Jerry hears a loud commotion coming from Kramer's bedroom.  
  
Jerry: What's going on in there.  
  
Kramer: Private party for the J. Peterman company.  
  
Jerry: Elaine is here.  
  
Just as Jerry was getting ready to walk to the room Peterman and Elaine come out.  
  
Peterman: Bravo Kramer, bravo. This place is spectacular and that court jester Banya what a complete laugh riot.  
  
Kramer: Well we aim to please at TGI Kramer.  
  
Peterman: And please you do. Elaine book our Christmas party here. Know where's the little boys room.  
  
Kramer: Right across the hall.  
  
Jerry: Kramer that's my apartment.  
  
Kramer: What Jerry, I don't want all these strangers in my bathroom, I shower in here.  
  
Elaine: Jerry lighten up, its party.  
  
Elaine is visibly drunk.  
  
Jerry: What are you drunk.  
  
Elaine: I might have had a few, so what, can't a girl have a few dr...  
  
Elaine pass's out in Jerry's arms. Jerry hands her to Kramer, who is also wearing a headset.  
  
Kramer: Newman I need some assistance.  
  
After a few second Newman shows up.  
  
Kramer: Bring Elaine somewhere to sleep it off.  
  
Newman: I know just the place, hehehe.  
  
Jerry: Kramer you think that's smart.  
  
Kramer: Of course, its Newman.  
  
Kramer slaps Newman on the back as he is walking out carrying Elaine. A person walks by carrying a small plate with some food on it.  
  
Jerry: You serve food also, don't you need a license for that.  
  
Kramer: Ahhh, who's checking, every one's having a ball.  
  
Jerry looks at the plate that a person is carrying.  
  
Jerry: Wait a second I know that food. You got Frank Costanza to be your cook.  
  
Kramer: He owed me, for the whole Bro and Manziere thing, he finally realized he was wrong.  
  
Jerry: Next you'll tell me you have VIP section.  
  
Kramer: I do.  
  
Kramer points to he closet as a waitress delivers a drink.  
  
Jerry: Is that the Maestro  
  
Kramer: Jerry, he is a very important person.  
  
Jerry: Very important Person. He conducts an orchestra that plays in retirement homes in Jersey.  
  
Kramer: Ayyyyy, always with the remarks.  
  
Frank Costanza sticks his head out of the kitchen.  
  
Frank: PICK UP! FIRE WINGS, FRIES SWIMMING, SLAW.  
  
A woman runs to the kitchen to take the plates from Frank.  
  
Frank: Sweetheart, you need to move quicker, WHAT DO YOU THINK THIS IS A FAST FOOD SWING JOINT.  
  
The waitress takes the plates and runs away crying. Kramer smiles and waves to Frank, who then goes back to cooking.  
  
Jerry: That cant be good for the employees.  
  
Kramer: He's just eccentric, that's all  
  
George walks over with his date Georgina, who looks like Mr. Steinbrenner in a blonde wig.  
  
George: Jerry this is Georgina, Mr. Steinbrenners niece.  
  
Jerry: Hi nice to meet you. (Looking at her with an strange face)  
  
Kramer sees her and runs a way.  
  
George: So can I get you a drink.  
  
Georgina: I think I want a beer. No make that a pina colada, yeah I like those pina coladas, I even like saying it. pina colada, George make sure they put a small umbrella in it, a pink one. Got a have a pink umbrella.  
  
George: Yes Georgina.  
  
Georgina: I like that coconut, is it coco or is it a nut, I don't know I just like it.  
  
George walks to the bar. Jerry is know standing by Kramer again. Georgina is standing alone waiting for George to come back with their drinks. Frank Costanza looks out the kitchen and sees Georgina standing there alone.  
  
Frank: Mr. Steinbrenner, what a great disguise.  
  
Georgina: I'm not Mr. Steinbreenr, I'm his niece.  
  
Frank: It's ok, I'll play a long, I understand you don't want people to know who you are since you, SIGNED JASON GIAMBI TO A TEN YEAR CONTRACT. WHATS WRONG WITH YOU!  
  
Frank walks away.  
  
Jerry: Kramer you know this cant last, you know its illegal to open a bar in your apartment.  
  
Kramer: Jerry you're crazy, I'm not breaking any laws.  
  
Jerry: Look around theirs not one law in here your abiding by.  
  
Kramer: Jerry, one sec. (Kramer starts to talk in his head set) Go ahead yes, yes, oh ok,  
  
Kramer: CHEESE IT'S THE COPS.  
  
Jerry: I told you Kramer.  
  
Kramer: How was I supposed to know.  
  
Jerry: I'm getting out of here.  
  
Kramer: take me with you.  
  
After a few second pause.  
  
Jerry: ALRIGHT!  
  
The police enter and every one starts to leave in a hurry. George turns his head from the bar holding his dates drink. She is now in handcuffs being escorted out.  
  
Georgina: Hey what are you doing, are these handcuffs, Uncle Stein isn't going to be happy about this.  
  
George sees her being taken out he drops the drinks and runs pushing people out of the way.  
  
This is where a commercial would come and then next would be the ending scene.  
  
Elaine is laying in bed there's a soft breeze coming in from an open window, Elaine stretches her arms and takes a deep breathe, she looks over to her right there are two dozen roses spread on the pillow next to her. She sits up with a big smile on her face.  
  
Elaine: Wow that must have been some party, I better check my sponge supply.  
  
Newman: Hi honey I got us some breakfast.  
  
Elaine: Nooooooooooooooooooo!  
  
The End 


End file.
